SPECIAL GUEST COLUMN BY DISHWASHER LAST NAME

Miguel's guide to humerous murder

First off you get de string... then you put de string in de pot. after dat, you put the cat in de stove, and set it on high... after dat, you stab john in de back of de head. After dat you freeze your neighbors baseball bat, and proceed to pummel dem... to death... After dat you... freeze de bowlin bawl to de tire of de car... and den you kill de man wit the cat that you toasted earlier... You watch de news, and den you make de swastica on de forehead, to trow off suspicion Den you blame it on de Charlie mansoon... after dat you dance around in a funny hat, to trow off suspicion... Aftah you trow off suspicion you go to de bowling alley wit mace, and shove forks in childrens eyes.