Ok, welcome. Welcome to the place which will make you all scared and like "Dude, I'm scared...". You probably know me, I'm the Burning Spirit. This is my new column called "Brains". That's right...brains. So, let's get to the column....you ass.

Ok, the big talk right now is the growing number of parrots who have magical or magical-like powers. What's with these things? It's like there parrots, but they're made out of gold, AND they've got powers. From what I've read in the newspaper, they heavily populate the the North East parts of the US. But it's not like these things can just pop out of nowhere. These things are being manufactured, and NO, it's probably not that hard to manufacture golden parrots with magical powers. Just make some golden parrots, then make some magical powers, stick them together and what do you have? A golden parrot with magical powers. Anyways, back to what I was saying. these things can't just pop out of nowhere. Someone is controlling them, someone powerful...like a Magician, or a government official, or maybe someone like the Washington monument. Yeah, the Washington Monument. I new it had to be someone smart, it couldn't just be some guy that's kind of smart, he has to be REALLY REALLY smart. The Washington Monument is one mean character, and he doesn't like it when average people don't treat him with respect. But even though he has a bad attitude, he gets the job done. In fact, why didn't the Washington Monument run for president? I'm getting off track, we better stick the issues. It's my guess, that the golden parrots with magical powers are being controlled by the Washington Monument. If we don't do something about this, we might as well kiss the US goodbye, and say hello to The Empire of the Washington Monument. In this era, the Washington Monument is emperor, and he'll force humans to dig deep holes, while the parrots moniter them. The holes will then be used to put the golden parrots in, so they can hibernate.

Next topic. Does anyone find it strange, that the beginning letters of Al Gore's first and last names are A and I? Now, think about that...A...I. Artificial Intelligence! Wait, that's a G. Ha, my bad.

A lot pregnant couples are in a jam nowadays trying to pick a creative name for their child. It seems that every name that we once thought was rare, is common now. That's why I've come up with a way to make your child's name unique. Name your children Willy Williams. It's a good name for a boy or a girl. Yes, it's true that the child will not carry on your family name, but isn't it funny for someone to be named Willy Williams? Like, let's say you're sitting at home and you're bored and you think to yourself "Hey! I'll call up my good friend Willy Williams!". See? See how funny that is? That's funny! It is!

Ok, that's enough for today. But I'll be writing more columns in the future. But right now I have to go eat lunch. But I can come over after I eat. Later man, see ya in a bit.

Answer Wizard

Node-Ical

Brains II

Brains I

Explosions

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