12/12/01

You know, I was thinking. There are lots of things I see go on in the world that don't sit well with me. Things that I know I could do better. People are making bad choices, and I want to do something about it. I want to take charge and make the world a better place. I have made a decision. I am going to run for the presidency of the World.

"Presidency of the world? there's no such thing!" I know that's what you're thinking, but I KNOW that if there is a leader that is good enough and is up to the challenge, he or she could be accomodated. This is what i'm expecting, and this is what I will get.

Some of my ideas may come across as radical, but that's what great leaders do. They go against the society's ideas to prove a better one. This is just the case here. The ideas may be extreme, and some will take time, but they will end up benefiting the world as a whole.

I'll start off by listing some of the little changes. The bigger things will take more time, and I will mention them later.

Since I am the President of the World, I will take all the money that individual countries have, and put them in a sort of "pool". I will allot the money as I see fit.

Anyway, ever since the Sept. 11 incident, the world has gone downhill. We're currently bombing them, and killing many people...but that's just not enough to satisfy the American people. They need reassurance that this will never happen again. Anyway, I will give Afghanastan however much money is necessary to build an exact replica of the now destroyed WTC. They will of course build it on their own soil. Then, we will hire someone to hijack one of THEIR airplanes, and crash it into THEIR WTC! That'll teach 'em a lesson in irony.

As many of you know, there has been a long waging war between the Jews in Israel and the Muslims, trying to conquer it. I, of course, have a solution. Nobody inhabits Antarctica, so I think we should just send all the Jews down there and let the Muslims have Israel. The Jewish people have had it for a long while, and it's high time they stop being so selfish, forefit it to someone else, and stop hogging it.

I will spend however much it takes to hire the best scientists and inventors there are. I will have all the greatest minds working together to solve my problems and invent things that I request.

There is quite a lack of entertainment in the world, at least that I can see. I believe that me and my scientists can come up with a creative and spectacular way to entertain people. I will have my scientists come up with some way to make an enormous kangaroo. I mean huge, like 100 meters high. Then, they will clone it 7 times. I will have the 8 kangaroos sent to a huge training facility run by Woody Allen, and he would personally teach them how to swim. I would have these 8 kangaroos compete in swimming races, and it would be fantastic.

This isn't enough, I want to go above and beyond. I want to stand out as a great leader. I will make a mandatory worldwide law, that all children under 8 years old should be equiped with deadly weapons. I will have them compete in battles to the death in cages, and spectators can wager on who they think will win.

The Germans are known to have a strong lack of personality when it comes to leisure. I think that I can change that. My scientists will merge all of the Germans into one, giant German person. I would name it "German" and have it compete with the kangaroos in swimming races.

There are a lot of countries in the world, and all they do is make trouble. Something has to be done, and I have just the solution.

All those stupid little nations, full of crap. Not only are they a nuisance, but they'd be a bitch to keep up with as well. When I become president of the WORLD, I am not going to work for just one country, and it will be much easier if there are just a few countries to bother with.

The first new country will consist of modern day Kazakhstan. It will be called, "Kazakhstan". The only real difference is, now, it will be a world power. Things are boring when there's just one major country, so I figure, at least 2 would spice things up a bit.

I will have my scientists invent some way to merge the Earth with the Moon. The Moon is just sitting up there, not doing anything, so I figure, why not bring it down here? The moon will come crashing down on modern day China, and the surrounding area. Using helicopters and planes, I will transport all the citizens of modern day Cuba to the moon. I will give them no resources, if they're smart, they'll figure out some way to survuve. Just because there is no life on or resources on the Moon doesn't mean it shouldn't be used. The Moon will now be called "Cuba".

The next country will consist of pretty much the rest of the world. Since it will contain most of the middle eastern countries, I will name it "Superstan" in their honor.

Next is "Secretstan". You have to be past level 10 with at least 300 points to gain access though. It will consist of modern day El Paso, Texas.

Even though there are just 5 countries, (America, Cuba, Superstan, Secretstan, Kazakhstan) Sooner or later the world will get over populated again. I will have some of the smaller continents literally lifted up out of the ocean, and dropped on top of other continents. Not only will this kill millions of people to reduce the population, but it will physically save space that can be used for things like shoe factories and industrial corporations.

Well, after this, I know for a fact that you are going to vote for me. It shouldn't be too difficult once they realize how brilliant I am. I may post more ideas later, but for now, this is a taste of what's to come.